I beleive in You...

why me i asked? will i be worshiped later? national holiday in my name....any posthumous award? OMG says God, you are asking for too much. i just asked you to do some work and stop being a burden. so you think me as a burden you who of all the people/being who is a parasite on all the myriad offerings of gold, milk, devdaasis. what have you done to deserve all this. you are no different from me. do you see me as a threat to your uselessness? irritated, G says i will make you rot till next eternity in the hell if you don't stop fooling around. i've the authority, you see. does he think i am afraid of all the people him. i laugh back. you are powerless against those who don't beleive in you. use this tactic against your deotees and plunder them. i am immune against you. see, try a spell. & yes his wand breaks when he tries to cast a spell. see you powerless little bug, you can't do anything to me. accept defeat & make me as ridiculous as you are. not so easily, not so easily, he is scheming but i know that. Son, come to me, beleive in me, i will give you the world. lets strike a deal, you become my agent. how will that help i ask? i don't want to be your pimp, against self dignity. don't overreact, this is the path of being Me. you will get respect and scope for corruption. be my trusted luitenent, and share the spoils. i make you my material greed, my lechrous self.
i was born a Brahmin.

i saw hope far off,
in the rays sun shows,
as my hand grabs it
all that was forever goes

i run after it
at every hour at every day
where is the hope of my life
where is my sun ray

i live for the day
i live by the night
i hunt for my ray
i look for that sight

should i follow my shadow
from end to end
for love of what life
stand tall or bend

will I...

a long walk,
a feared passage,
will i ever rest the dead,
and walk to glory within the maze?

as i sleep,
the night awakens,
will i conquer the hollow,
to my barren bring the rain?

a tired soul,
dies a dream,
will i kiss the tear,
rejoice as autumn shapes the spring?

what to write? don't know. for once (& alwayz) am without any issues. how can life be so ignorant of me. if i don't have a reason to celebrate, i demand an excuse to colour me in gloom. the situation has reached such a critical level that can't even decipher the level (or even existence) of my own frustration. have ever indulged in self-pity? it's refreshingly refreshing. it's another matter that it is also the only option. it has been seven days that i started following an open-door policy to invite any debtor or creditors but no avail. it seems i have been deported inside a space less black hole. even the spiders and lizards that adorned my walls have taken an extended hibernation. if all this is for real, GOD be ashamed, it it's a nightmare, well Mr. Satan what is this fascination with uncalled for benovalence. do your job, scare the shit out of me.
am i even now incapable to offend any person, place or thing?

silent dreams

Silent dreams,

My silent dreams….

No one knows,

They are the dead trees.

Like a river

Long gone,

Erased from history

None to mourn

As against rule

They are not sad

I enjoy their demise

Makes me less bad

No trumpets

No glory

Mediocre is the road I tread

And I don’t feel sorry

Divinity

Is but an illusion

A fake disguise

A false sensation

And yet,

The flights of fantasy

The pleasures of the dream

Dwells deep in secrecy

monsoons and development

Another entry, this time in acute depression. Tomorrow happens to be the last day of the summers & it seems the dreaded Mumbai monsoon has finally arrived. So will I be able to make it to the office (& collect the stipend) or not tomorrow as the clouds continue to rumble ominously. We will get to know tomorrow of my fate; I did it if I post & if I don’t know one would ever get to know it.

Monsoon arriving a week earlier to disturb the 9 to 5 time table might just be a welcome relief to an economy coming down the double digit growth rate due to a sluggish agriculture. Perhaps a better monsoon will again push the growth rate over the 10% figure again. Whether the agriculturist will ever get to know of their contribution, we will never know. But that’s sounding like too communistic. All the shitwork about all round development, uplifting of the deprived is anachronistic. Development comes at a cost, so what if the cost is borne by the poor, starved, malnourished skeletons. It’s good after all these numbers are already accustomed to the life of gutter so a little bit of uncertainty added here & there makes no one a blood-sucking capitalist.

And yes these people come in handy when it comes to accepting Aids, or fighting our case in the WTO or making award winning documentaries; not to forget filling in the ballot boxes. So let them survive (remember Matrix), blame them for depressing growth & feed them just that much to keep them starving.

hope

Life will be never,

Silent while winds sing;

Soon the fog will die,

Hope will win.

Why the tears,

It’s the spring time;

We will blossom again,

With all the feast & the wine.

The birds will come,

Again to the welcome Sun;

The cages are open,

The fleeing clouds have taken a turn.

Make a new wish,

Today is for you;

The stars are up there,

The fragrance is new.