will I...

a long walk,
a feared passage,
will i ever rest the dead,
and walk to glory within the maze?

as i sleep,
the night awakens,
will i conquer the hollow,
to my barren bring the rain?

a tired soul,
dies a dream,
will i kiss the tear,
rejoice as autumn shapes the spring?

what to write? don't know. for once (& alwayz) am without any issues. how can life be so ignorant of me. if i don't have a reason to celebrate, i demand an excuse to colour me in gloom. the situation has reached such a critical level that can't even decipher the level (or even existence) of my own frustration. have ever indulged in self-pity? it's refreshingly refreshing. it's another matter that it is also the only option. it has been seven days that i started following an open-door policy to invite any debtor or creditors but no avail. it seems i have been deported inside a space less black hole. even the spiders and lizards that adorned my walls have taken an extended hibernation. if all this is for real, GOD be ashamed, it it's a nightmare, well Mr. Satan what is this fascination with uncalled for benovalence. do your job, scare the shit out of me.
am i even now incapable to offend any person, place or thing?

silent dreams

Silent dreams,

My silent dreams….

No one knows,

They are the dead trees.

Like a river

Long gone,

Erased from history

None to mourn

As against rule

They are not sad

I enjoy their demise

Makes me less bad

No trumpets

No glory

Mediocre is the road I tread

And I don’t feel sorry

Divinity

Is but an illusion

A fake disguise

A false sensation

And yet,

The flights of fantasy

The pleasures of the dream

Dwells deep in secrecy

monsoons and development

Another entry, this time in acute depression. Tomorrow happens to be the last day of the summers & it seems the dreaded Mumbai monsoon has finally arrived. So will I be able to make it to the office (& collect the stipend) or not tomorrow as the clouds continue to rumble ominously. We will get to know tomorrow of my fate; I did it if I post & if I don’t know one would ever get to know it.

Monsoon arriving a week earlier to disturb the 9 to 5 time table might just be a welcome relief to an economy coming down the double digit growth rate due to a sluggish agriculture. Perhaps a better monsoon will again push the growth rate over the 10% figure again. Whether the agriculturist will ever get to know of their contribution, we will never know. But that’s sounding like too communistic. All the shitwork about all round development, uplifting of the deprived is anachronistic. Development comes at a cost, so what if the cost is borne by the poor, starved, malnourished skeletons. It’s good after all these numbers are already accustomed to the life of gutter so a little bit of uncertainty added here & there makes no one a blood-sucking capitalist.

And yes these people come in handy when it comes to accepting Aids, or fighting our case in the WTO or making award winning documentaries; not to forget filling in the ballot boxes. So let them survive (remember Matrix), blame them for depressing growth & feed them just that much to keep them starving.

hope

Life will be never,

Silent while winds sing;

Soon the fog will die,

Hope will win.

Why the tears,

It’s the spring time;

We will blossom again,

With all the feast & the wine.

The birds will come,

Again to the welcome Sun;

The cages are open,

The fleeing clouds have taken a turn.

Make a new wish,

Today is for you;

The stars are up there,

The fragrance is new.

I am a Secular & a Fanatic

Okay so art can also be shitwork & I thought that I was an exception (am disappointed rather). This lingual constipation is the result of an exhaustive 3hr session (15min intermission excluded) of watching ‘Shootout at Lokhandwala’. Now the movie was not that bad (after all it had all the cleavage show, the cool abuses, and yes the bullets and the skull crunching scenes) but I can have my personal preferences. & SOAL didn’t fit in there.

But what do I do? Protest against it or stone all the theatres screening it? Perhaps I can file a PIL against its screening….after all it has hurt my sentiments. As a responsible citizen of democratic nation (don’t forget the Article 19 of our revered Constitution), I have all rights to express myself (though it contradicts with another Article 19 again but who/I cares).

Definitely it is for the artist and his Freedom of Expression to portray Saraswati as nude or have artistically (read scantly) clad models (hot ones) in saffron. He can do what he pleases to do……no fundamentalist can have a right to stop him. What if it hurts the sentiments of an entire barbarian orthodox race. They simply can’t understand the greatness of the implicit message in the piece of art.

I never agreed with storming & burning of the places which have been accused of desecrating our culture but I also do not agree with the alibi of Khujaraho & Kamasutra. Fundamentalists & fanatics are a danger to the society but so are the pseudo-seculars or the Fanatic Seculars. What occurred ‘000s of year back reflected the society of that age. Today it’s different. We must realize that ours has become a conservative society & painting nude Goddesses is not going to reform us. It’s a shame if our communications trashes a faith followed deeply by millions, however against we are against such customs & traditions. We need to balance between the definition of modernity & vulgarity.

social animal

I was born a social animal; Man was born a social animal. How true is that? Does living in a society comes to us naturally or we adapt to it because of our inherent need for survival?

The hunter man started to build societies, not because of any particular liking for each other but to be able to feed himself and to protect himself. And the modern man constructed great cities on the same foundation.

But do you ever observe a child, who unlike pups or cubs or kitten is more engrossed in him/her self. The child is a grim reminder of what we are and how quickly once we gain knowledge of surroundings; begin writing essays on the societal nature of man. For the child there is no time to indulge with his nanny or mother; the phenomenon is too engrossed in his own little universe. Just keep feeding him and he will reciprocate with those few broken words of perhaps gratitude or affection.

Rarely does it face a competition from other for its food, never will it ever learn from its peer, but from the already social beings.

But wait a minute; are we missing some issues here – how do we justify its behavior when it is not in its ‘natural’ looney self? Is it experiencing a schizophrenic personality or has it learned to be dependant on the elders and is therefore indulging in its act of pleasing them. Freud did make some gross allegations against it for all its sexual advances and thoughts. WoW!!! I never thought I was so romantic (pervert would have been a better term but didn’t use it at it might hurt sentiments of all the kids including me) as a kid, & the worst part is that I don’t remember a thing. But hey we are diverting from the discussion. Will we be ever able to decipher what goes on in the brains of the kid or for that matter you & I? Will we ever be able to predict as to why ‘Tommy’ wags its tail & why keep oscillating between being gregarious at times to want to be the last person on the universe at others? If we can’t predict such things, it doesn’t matter as we will continue to be the same – the most enigmatic being on planet Earth.