Thanks for the Love Mussu

My Sweetheart, my mistress of spices, My Alice from the Wonderland, you mean my world for me. Of all the fairy tales, I’ve never read, I find living them in you. Thanks for making me live a fairy tale.

It has been a ‘I’ centered life the I in me has been used to, with the other characters assuming there importance in relation to this I. & then you come, not to change it, but to make me discover beyond ‘I’, to make me see the hidden more beautiful existence of myself. Thanks for making me discover all I had missed.

I lived for being sincere – to love anyone with sincerity for that is what I knew. It was derived, not earned. You changed that. I love you not for what you mean to me, I love you for who you are. & I live a special moment every moment knowing you love me back. Thanks for stirring up my passion for life and love.

I was lonely, among friends and family and the paraphernalia. But not with you, hold me before I need the hug, you put your lips to me before I utter a useless word. Thanks for understanding me like no one has done before.

There are reasons more than I may count on why I love you. I need you, I respect you, I want to be lost in you. But then Mussu, my love, Thanks for all the love that you have filled me with. Thanks for loving me back, Thanks for all the coconuts I get for saying I Love You! Keep doing it for the rest of my life

Mussu

When I write to you, the first one I miss is you, and the 2nd one a pen and a paper - the very essence of a good old fashioned love story. But why be old fashioned when we can discover and discover again all over again?
The atheist in me shunned religion till you made me a devotee of yours. I know you hate the concept of purity and the accompanied divinity, but my sweetheart bear with me, I will but soon compare you to Gandhi. Who said love letters had to be not so cruel :)
Yes, we met by chance, and chance was the destiny in disguise. I desired and conspired but it was you who inspired me to say the words on mobile (Oh yes, we are the new age chaps). My discomfort, my awkward green grass blue sky moment, is all but forgotten and archived, all I see is the blue nailpaint that adored your feet and some bit of mine. The ladel, the gems, the pigeon talks and crow crooning, the empty street and the feeble attempt at languages - images from dateless nights as I ensured you were charmed to be the better half I desired for.
What did I see in you when I had not even seen you? Ask the poet who wrote love is blind, the stupid one did not realise, eyes do not feel.
My Sweetheart, I swear on all the coconuts to have ever come on this earth, I am smitten by you like no eyes could ever be. 

A movie called Skyline

For divine justice, we need not wait for 2012, it’s here and how! Theatres will turn into devlish machine, & the end of shows will witness zombies storming out post Skyline…
Listing down a few apparent dangers of watching the movie so intense in logic, that defying the logic becomes extinct.
• Danger 1: Skyline might help speed up your receding hairline
• Danger 2: you may end up shunning any light, including Bud Lite
• Danger 3: it might inspire you to gorge your brains out, vaporize them with the hope a new one will emerge from somewhere
• Danger 4: if it happens, gents might have to live with ladies brains & vice versa, a sure shot guarantee for Apocalypse
• Danger 5: Might risk saving any of those flirtious moments hoping the world’s going to end, so wtf…it might end, just for you
• Danger 6: post urination, do not feel embarrassed if flush does not work
• Danger 7: if you check flush is not working, decide not to urinate
• Danger 8: take more time to decipher the plot than would have taken putting the Rubek’s together thrice
• Danger 9: go & watch it post reading this
• Danger 10: if already watched, wait for part 2

Hip Hop Hope

The 100 days of nerve wrecking hope festival begins again! ICC Cricket World Cup is here again to come & the ad frenzy has begun. Checked out the full scale page ad in a leading daily talking about the ‘Billion hope & 1 Dream’…so very prophetic. Perhaps an ad for the last edition’s must have been the same (considering the faces are the same & the Indian official billion remain as it is). Perhaps what did change were the money spenders’ logos at the bottom, either new names or fresh identities.
My heart goes out to all of us who sleep, eat, dream cricket who religiously put out time, and heart in following our superstars bring bag home the cup of hope. After all it’s not just an empty cup any more. It’s the cup…that symbolizes a coming of age of the country, eradication of evils, continuation of the hope forever. As our Fellowship of the Cup Hunters prepare for the journey, mothers will abandon their favorite kids to pray for Dhoni, husbands will stake their wives for a Sachin century, brothers will face each other to bet for their star.
Imagine this also coincides with the Great Indian wedding season, so the dowry demand will definitely include an LCD and Tata Sky. And a few of the honeymoons might be postponed, (after who goes to SL & Bangladesh for honeymoon). Every ball which consumes the head of the enemy will be remembered; those little knocks of the warriors will be passed on from generations. The widows will emphathise with the wails of surrender; the grandfathers will bring out from their holy books of anecdotes the pain of ’62 or the pleasure of ’71.
In all this will be the regular drinks to soothe down the tempers, the waiting line to wish the team victory, mike wielding ex-cricketers getting a chance to be heard. & all else will be remembered but the game. Dhoni & Co. carry a burden which Gods find difficult to handle. 11 people fighting not the opposition but fear of failure. & before they take the field, will have their movable & immovable properties insured for a premium.
We deserve this cup, no matter what. Like the comet Hailey’s we wait for the first signs it is arriving, and then go in an overdrive of prayers. We drink, we cry, we laugh, we fight. & like Lord K in Maharashtra, we assimilate all the Bhagwat Gita’s teachings on the fields. Our heroes, we worship & curse at the same time. In moments of victory, old ‘treachery’ is forgotten.
And yes we are a forgiving devotee, or a patient one. If we are not the one, doesn’t matter, the fruits of patience we will taste the next edition!

Eyes of Love...

There will be more after us,
We are not the 1st to love,
& yet an angel so pure of heart,
Will never walk the earth.
For beauty was not defined by seas,
& Time forever lost in your eyes,
When a tear drop left the eye of God,
A pearl named you was born.
I am no magician who will reach for stars,
I am a stranger to Mecca & Eden,
But when you wake up at my side,
No monarch so great can be me.
In your smile, I find my world,
In your memory, a 100 lives,
In your voice, is the song of love,
In you, I find I.

elections of hope

the power of positivity is for all to see. congress does the impossible again defying all predictions, hammering all nay-sayers. the vote was not for Congress but it was a vote for hope, a thumbs-up for good governance. all those who rebuffed against the so called NREG & loan waiver can rest their tired souls to peace. it was this inclusive growth that led to development. Moditva should put on their thinking caps. growth is not the only aspect. the politics of violence & hatred is bound to fail. it got Hitler & it will get you. the vote brought into definition a new word - pro incumbency. lot many will be worried that the idea of intelligent voting has begun it was at work in India & Bihar. a formidable caste alliance of laloo & paswan bit the dust in front of change. the hope that laloo had promised long back came back to haunt him as he was trounced.

i don't know whether i am a believer or not. i don't take pride in such a comment. but then i have been both at some points of my life. & i enjoyed being a believer i need to confess. what changed & how the change kept on its journey? i will try to decipher. it was perhaps the innocence of childhood vs the conspiracy of adulthood which always came in my way.
i am coming down from a lofted platform, suddenly in the process of realizing the self. struggle is necessity of learning, & learning by self is no match when you have a teacher. perhaps faith is that teacher. it will take some time to accept the fact but the process is in place and more importantly i feel much relieved. i had always respected faith even at my darkest image, however now its importance in the journey.

I beleive in You...

why me i asked? will i be worshiped later? national holiday in my name....any posthumous award? OMG says God, you are asking for too much. i just asked you to do some work and stop being a burden. so you think me as a burden you who of all the people/being who is a parasite on all the myriad offerings of gold, milk, devdaasis. what have you done to deserve all this. you are no different from me. do you see me as a threat to your uselessness? irritated, G says i will make you rot till next eternity in the hell if you don't stop fooling around. i've the authority, you see. does he think i am afraid of all the people him. i laugh back. you are powerless against those who don't beleive in you. use this tactic against your deotees and plunder them. i am immune against you. see, try a spell. & yes his wand breaks when he tries to cast a spell. see you powerless little bug, you can't do anything to me. accept defeat & make me as ridiculous as you are. not so easily, not so easily, he is scheming but i know that. Son, come to me, beleive in me, i will give you the world. lets strike a deal, you become my agent. how will that help i ask? i don't want to be your pimp, against self dignity. don't overreact, this is the path of being Me. you will get respect and scope for corruption. be my trusted luitenent, and share the spoils. i make you my material greed, my lechrous self.
i was born a Brahmin.

i saw hope far off,
in the rays sun shows,
as my hand grabs it
all that was forever goes

i run after it
at every hour at every day
where is the hope of my life
where is my sun ray

i live for the day
i live by the night
i hunt for my ray
i look for that sight

should i follow my shadow
from end to end
for love of what life
stand tall or bend

will I...

a long walk,
a feared passage,
will i ever rest the dead,
and walk to glory within the maze?

as i sleep,
the night awakens,
will i conquer the hollow,
to my barren bring the rain?

a tired soul,
dies a dream,
will i kiss the tear,
rejoice as autumn shapes the spring?

what to write? don't know. for once (& alwayz) am without any issues. how can life be so ignorant of me. if i don't have a reason to celebrate, i demand an excuse to colour me in gloom. the situation has reached such a critical level that can't even decipher the level (or even existence) of my own frustration. have ever indulged in self-pity? it's refreshingly refreshing. it's another matter that it is also the only option. it has been seven days that i started following an open-door policy to invite any debtor or creditors but no avail. it seems i have been deported inside a space less black hole. even the spiders and lizards that adorned my walls have taken an extended hibernation. if all this is for real, GOD be ashamed, it it's a nightmare, well Mr. Satan what is this fascination with uncalled for benovalence. do your job, scare the shit out of me.
am i even now incapable to offend any person, place or thing?

silent dreams

Silent dreams,

My silent dreams….

No one knows,

They are the dead trees.

Like a river

Long gone,

Erased from history

None to mourn

As against rule

They are not sad

I enjoy their demise

Makes me less bad

No trumpets

No glory

Mediocre is the road I tread

And I don’t feel sorry

Divinity

Is but an illusion

A fake disguise

A false sensation

And yet,

The flights of fantasy

The pleasures of the dream

Dwells deep in secrecy

monsoons and development

Another entry, this time in acute depression. Tomorrow happens to be the last day of the summers & it seems the dreaded Mumbai monsoon has finally arrived. So will I be able to make it to the office (& collect the stipend) or not tomorrow as the clouds continue to rumble ominously. We will get to know tomorrow of my fate; I did it if I post & if I don’t know one would ever get to know it.

Monsoon arriving a week earlier to disturb the 9 to 5 time table might just be a welcome relief to an economy coming down the double digit growth rate due to a sluggish agriculture. Perhaps a better monsoon will again push the growth rate over the 10% figure again. Whether the agriculturist will ever get to know of their contribution, we will never know. But that’s sounding like too communistic. All the shitwork about all round development, uplifting of the deprived is anachronistic. Development comes at a cost, so what if the cost is borne by the poor, starved, malnourished skeletons. It’s good after all these numbers are already accustomed to the life of gutter so a little bit of uncertainty added here & there makes no one a blood-sucking capitalist.

And yes these people come in handy when it comes to accepting Aids, or fighting our case in the WTO or making award winning documentaries; not to forget filling in the ballot boxes. So let them survive (remember Matrix), blame them for depressing growth & feed them just that much to keep them starving.

hope

Life will be never,

Silent while winds sing;

Soon the fog will die,

Hope will win.

Why the tears,

It’s the spring time;

We will blossom again,

With all the feast & the wine.

The birds will come,

Again to the welcome Sun;

The cages are open,

The fleeing clouds have taken a turn.

Make a new wish,

Today is for you;

The stars are up there,

The fragrance is new.

I am a Secular & a Fanatic

Okay so art can also be shitwork & I thought that I was an exception (am disappointed rather). This lingual constipation is the result of an exhaustive 3hr session (15min intermission excluded) of watching ‘Shootout at Lokhandwala’. Now the movie was not that bad (after all it had all the cleavage show, the cool abuses, and yes the bullets and the skull crunching scenes) but I can have my personal preferences. & SOAL didn’t fit in there.

But what do I do? Protest against it or stone all the theatres screening it? Perhaps I can file a PIL against its screening….after all it has hurt my sentiments. As a responsible citizen of democratic nation (don’t forget the Article 19 of our revered Constitution), I have all rights to express myself (though it contradicts with another Article 19 again but who/I cares).

Definitely it is for the artist and his Freedom of Expression to portray Saraswati as nude or have artistically (read scantly) clad models (hot ones) in saffron. He can do what he pleases to do……no fundamentalist can have a right to stop him. What if it hurts the sentiments of an entire barbarian orthodox race. They simply can’t understand the greatness of the implicit message in the piece of art.

I never agreed with storming & burning of the places which have been accused of desecrating our culture but I also do not agree with the alibi of Khujaraho & Kamasutra. Fundamentalists & fanatics are a danger to the society but so are the pseudo-seculars or the Fanatic Seculars. What occurred ‘000s of year back reflected the society of that age. Today it’s different. We must realize that ours has become a conservative society & painting nude Goddesses is not going to reform us. It’s a shame if our communications trashes a faith followed deeply by millions, however against we are against such customs & traditions. We need to balance between the definition of modernity & vulgarity.

social animal

I was born a social animal; Man was born a social animal. How true is that? Does living in a society comes to us naturally or we adapt to it because of our inherent need for survival?

The hunter man started to build societies, not because of any particular liking for each other but to be able to feed himself and to protect himself. And the modern man constructed great cities on the same foundation.

But do you ever observe a child, who unlike pups or cubs or kitten is more engrossed in him/her self. The child is a grim reminder of what we are and how quickly once we gain knowledge of surroundings; begin writing essays on the societal nature of man. For the child there is no time to indulge with his nanny or mother; the phenomenon is too engrossed in his own little universe. Just keep feeding him and he will reciprocate with those few broken words of perhaps gratitude or affection.

Rarely does it face a competition from other for its food, never will it ever learn from its peer, but from the already social beings.

But wait a minute; are we missing some issues here – how do we justify its behavior when it is not in its ‘natural’ looney self? Is it experiencing a schizophrenic personality or has it learned to be dependant on the elders and is therefore indulging in its act of pleasing them. Freud did make some gross allegations against it for all its sexual advances and thoughts. WoW!!! I never thought I was so romantic (pervert would have been a better term but didn’t use it at it might hurt sentiments of all the kids including me) as a kid, & the worst part is that I don’t remember a thing. But hey we are diverting from the discussion. Will we be ever able to decipher what goes on in the brains of the kid or for that matter you & I? Will we ever be able to predict as to why ‘Tommy’ wags its tail & why keep oscillating between being gregarious at times to want to be the last person on the universe at others? If we can’t predict such things, it doesn’t matter as we will continue to be the same – the most enigmatic being on planet Earth.

random thoughts after the pirated '6th Sense' DVD malfunction

Do I believe in sixth sense, do I not believe in it?... actually that’s not the right way to put forward my query; it should be rather put forth as: should I or should I not??

I don’t know…..consider myself to be beyond the ape-brained creatures that still inhabit my land. Superstition, evil, (G)od, totems mean nothing to me & yet….

There are instances you can associate in the lingo of science as ‘mere coincidence’ that take place day-in & day-out in my life. That I am even writing about such occurrences seems as an act of defiance against the established (yet unproven order). The line I am treading is the line that demarcates the boundaries between myth & sci-fi.

I write for myself & for many of us who perhaps never even remember such random acts of coincidences. And if we do, we just let them pass with a smile (or is it the fear of getting into something which is way beyond out ‘popular’ imagination?).

You sit on the naked terrace of your house dangling your feet, smoking away your ‘journey called life’ & suddenly this random fear runs down your spine – if there is an earthquake what will happen. You simply get back to the comfort of your slightly uncomfortable bed to wake up in the morning and find that a disastrous earthquake rocked your country killing 1000s you never knew…..jus 4hrs after your random thought.

Okay that was a coincidence and so will be a long lost close friend who had disappeared a decade back leaving back only his memories and no contact details calling back one day suddenly only when you had been thinking about him. That you remembered him even before (say 30 days in a yr) and on those occasions during the last 10yrs he had not called up is a valid point. But that he had to call me up only on that 1/30 days of a 365 day yr makes me think.

These are 1-off random incidents that keep happening in our life, without reason, sans any logic. Will these remain illusive as our dreams of inter-space travel, enigmatic as the existence of Satan, or just pure unanswered random thoughts about our existence.

I don’t know for sure…

so they say

So they say so….

It’s a new day,

Life lies ahead

Surf the bay

So they say so….

Who cares

& listens to the wind

& surrounding layers

so they say so…

sorrow is brief

number the stars

stop counting grief

so they say so…

wear your smile

& as with snake skin

shed every mile

so they say so…

night will die

horizon in sight

take wings fly

so they say so…